Tag Archive for: Psychotherapist

Happy couple who utilizes couples therapy by a licensed therapist at Hillary Counseling in Milwaukee, Wi

The Four Horseman and Their Antidotes…The Secret to Managing Relationship Conflict

The Gottman Institute studies relationships and looks for evidenced based signs of what works, and what doesn’t. They use the metaphor of the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” to describe four dynamics that can predict the end of a romantic relationship. Luckily, they have also discovered the “antidotes” that can change these unhealthy dynamics.

Criticism

Attacking someone’s personality or character, usually with some level of blame. Often “you” statements – “You should have done the laundry by now, you know I wanted to go out later!”

Antidote: Complaining – Expressing anger or disagreement about a specific behavior. Often uses “I” statements – “I wanted the laundry to be finished by now so I could get out before everything closes.” Complaining does not involve blame or get personal.

Next time, try: Instead of criticizing the other person, tell them what you would like them to do instead.

Defensiveness

Avoiding any responsibility for partner’s complaints. This can look like denying responsibility, making excuses, disagreeing with negative mind-reading, cross-complaining, “yes-but”-ing, repeating yourself, whining.

Antidote: Taking responsibility for some part of the problem.

Next time, try: Considering if there any part of the other person’s complaint that makes some sense to you. If so, say, “I can see what you’re saying about (this part).” See how that changes the conversation.

Contempt

The intention here is to insult and psychologically abuse the other person. This happens when the relationship feels so negative, that one partner has difficulty identifying anything positive about the other. It can include insults and name-calling, hostile humor, and mockery. It is also visible in body language and facial expressions. Contempt in communication between partners is a strong predictor of divorce.

Antidote: Culture of appreciation – focus on what you admire about the other person.

Next time, try: Noticing when you are expressing contempt and stopping yourself immediately. There are also exercises that you can do to remember and rekindle the things you admire or appreciate about the other person, which will start to shift the habit of expressing contempt.

Stonewalling

Habitual disengagement during conflict.

Antidote: Self-soothing—Monitor your emotional arousal during arguments; take breaks and do something to calm down. Find a way to stay engaged in the discussion, even if it means taking a break.

Next time, try: Catching yourself when you are starting to get emotionally overwhelmed during a conflict. Let the other person know you are going to take a break, but will return to finish the discussion when you are more calm. It generally takes about 20 minutes to calm down from “emotional flooding

We can help improve your relationship.

Hillary Counseling offers couples therapy and online therapy services to help you gain tools to strengthen your relationship, rebuild your connection, and restore the joy you both once felt.

Contact us to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation! →

 

Article summarized from the Gottman Institute Research.

Lobby of Hillary Counseling in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

We’re Hiring…Milwaukee Therapists and Psychologists (LMFT, LCSW, LPC, Psy.D, Ph.D)

As our practice continues to grow, we are looking for highly skilled and passionate therapists to work with our incredible and inspiring clients.

Hillary Counseling clients are primarily high-functioning, well-educated, diverse, professionals, couples, and college students who are invested in their personal growth, wellness, and the therapy process.

We are seeking both part-time and full-time independently-licensed clinicians (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D).

Our ideal candidate:

  • LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D
  • Experience working with COUPLES is a plus.
  • Advanced training in Evidence-Based Practices. Certifications and experience beyond your graduate program will set you apart.
  • Training in couples therapies (Gottman, Imago, EFT, Relational Life), mindfulness-based therapies, EMDR, ACT, DBT.
  • Licensed in Wisconsin.

Responsibilities:

  • Full-time clinicians are expected to see 15+ clients per week.
  • Part-time clinicians are expected to see 4-6 clients per week.
  • Maintaining the highest level of integrity and ethical standards at all times.

What Hillary Counseling Provides:

  • Competitive pay and flexible schedule
  • Ability to work both virtually and in-person
  • Beautiful office space in the heart of the THIRD WARD
  • A steady stream of quality client referrals
  • Established systems for scheduling, telehealth video platform, practice management software, electronic medical records, phone, Hillary Counseling email.
  • A dedicated and supportive Client Coordinator to handle client screening and matching.
  • Clients who are committed to therapy, passionate about their healing journey, and are a joy to work with.
  • A supportive team of AMAZING therapists who are invested in collaboration.

To Apply:

  • Please submit a CV/resume and cover letter to info@hillarycounseling.com.

For more information on the position, please go to https://www.hillarycounseling.com/join-our-team/.

Woman with great body image

7 Tips For Building A Better Body Image As An Adult

When you catch a glimpse of your reflection in a window, or see yourself in a new picture that a friend posts on social media, what thoughts immediately come to mind?

Are they generally positive (I look so happy!), or more negative (Well, at least everyone else looks good)?

If they are positive, that’s great! But if they’re not, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle to feel happy with the way that we look, especially when it comes to our bodies.

While getting older may bring with it a certain sense of self-acceptance and the ability to reject the unrealistic beauty ideals that we see around us, aging also brings with it a new set of challenges to our self-esteem. You know — the messages and products that encourage us to “minimize those wrinkles” and “cover up those grays.”

“You can be reading a magazine and on one page there’s an article about how to love yourself the way you are, and then you flip the page and there’s an ad for a diet plan or an anti-aging cream.

All of those messages can be discouraging. But making some tweaks to your thought patterns can help you get back on the road to a positive body image. Start with these ideas.

Show some appreciation

A good place to start is to refocus your self-talk. Rather than nitpicking over the appearance of your body, try recognizing and appreciating the amazing things that it does for you every day. Appreciate that your strong arms allow you to carry your child and the diaper bag and the groceries up the stairs in one trip. Or that your skilled hands prepared an amazing dinner.

Record the positives

Here’s a little homework assignment: Write down five things you love about your personality. Easy, right? You’re a great listener and incredibly giving when it comes to helping others.

Now list five things you love about your body. “For most people, it’s easier to do the first, but it’s equally important to do the second.” Putting your feelings into written words (the old fashioned way!) helps you process your thoughts and commit things to memory.

Create little reminders

Write positive affirmations, goals or words of gratitude on sticky notes or note cards and putting them in places where you’ll see them throughout the day – the bathroom mirror, your wallet or by your computer at work. Remind yourself of your positive qualities, skills and goals.

Commit to doing things that make you feel good

Life is about so much more than how we look. Yet, how we feel about our bodies can dictate our mood and our behaviors. Have you ever canceled plans when you’re feeling bad about yourself? Resist the urge. Spending time with friends who aren’t focused on body image may actually help quiet your own body dissatisfaction.

Studies also show that exercise, yoga and helping others are great self-esteem boosters.

Occupy your mind

“We have another exercise that asks people to live their life as if they had 12 months, 5 days, 1 hour or 30 seconds to live,” Dr. Peterson says.

“In these circumstances, you would most likely focus on people, places and things that you love and that make you feel good – not on how your body looks.”

Don’t fear the mirror

If you have unhappy thoughts about how you look, you might find yourself dodging anything that shows your reflection. But, “avoidance breeds avoidance.” Ignoring those unhappy feelings won’t make them go away. She suggests noticing those negative thoughts that come to mind when you see yourself in the mirror, and applying the above tactics to turn them around.

Shut down the comparison game

Comparing your own body to others’ may be the quickest way to send your self-esteem plummeting. Instead, objectively admire the good qualities you notice in other people, and make a point to compliment them – it will make both of you feel good.

Feeling good at all sizes

It’s beneficial to love your and appreciate body no matter your shape or size.

In fact, if you’re overweight and taking steps toward a healthier lifestyle, research suggests that’s even more of a reason to work on building a healthy body image.

In one study of girls who were overweight, those with the highest levels of body satisfaction gained less weight after 10 years than those who were least satisfied with their bodies. Another study found that obese women who improved their body image were also better able to self-regulate their eating.

There’s no wrong time to work on feeling more comfortable in your own skin.

Need more help?

If you ever feel that your negative body image is affecting you in a distressing or disruptive way, reach out to schedule a FREE INITIAL CONSULT with one of our body image experts, info@hillarycounseling.com!

Join Our Team…Looking For A Licensed Mental Health Therapist In Wisconsin (LCSW, LPC, LMFT, Psy.D)

At Hillary Counseling, we believe in a better future for mental health. Delivering an exceptional experience for our clients begins with creating an exceptional experience for our team.

We are deeply passionate about the integrity of our work, providing excellence in delivery of care, and advocating for social change. Through our efforts, the environment here supports wellness; our practice is a rewarding place to work as well as an excellent place to receive care.

Our growing team is comprised of highly skilled and motivated professionals who share a vision, treat clients with respect and compassion, and aspire to serve our community by creating an inclusive environment where clients find fulfillment, improve health and develop greater meaning in their lives.

As professionals, we are committed to collaboration and investing in one another’s clinical, professional, and personal development. Valuing connection and relationships, we offer support, feedback and insight during our monthly consultation meetings and weekly check-ins.

Hillary Counseling is seeking an independently-licensed clinician (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D.) who specializes in working with INDIVIDUALS AND/OR COUPLES. Our clients are a diverse population of students and young professionals who are high-functioning and motivated to improve their lives.

Therapists with niche specialties are encouraged to apply, as well.

Job Details: Full-time and Part-time Psychotherapists, Independent Contractor

Primary Job Description: To provide counseling to individuals and couples with a broad range of mental health issues, including: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, life transitions, personal growth, and relationship improvement.

Starting Date: May/June 2022

Location: Hybrid of teletherapy and in-person sessions. A 100% remote position (providing tele-therapy sessions from home) is also an option for therapists who are licensed in the state of WI.

Compensation: $80 – $110 per client session, dependent on qualifications and experience. 

Responsibilities:

  • Meeting with clients for initial consultation sessions to formulate a psychosocial assessment and determine eligibility for services.
  • Creating and implementing treatment plans for every client.
  • Submitting progress notes and charting documentation within one business day of sessions.
  • Collaborating with other providers, including previous treatment team, psychiatrists, family, school staff, and community providers to coordinate care and advocate for clients’ needs.
  • Making referrals to agencies and community resources.
  • Attending weekly supervision and monthly case consultation meetings.
  • Assisting with creative and administrative tasks as needed such as social media and marketing.
  • Marketing yourself to grow a referral base and recognition within the community.

Requirements: 

  • MUST BE A LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH CLINICIAN (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D.) in the state of Wisconsin.
  • Minimum of 2 years clinical experience.
  • Must carry current professional malpractice liability insurance of at least $1,000,000/$3,000,000.
  • Must be accurate and timely in submitting billing at the end of every session.
  • Must be timely in submitting case notes within one business day.
  • Must be able to respond to all client referrals and needs via email and phone within 24 hours.
  • Must have strong organizational and time management skills.

What We Provide:

  • Full integration into www.hillarycounseling.com
  • Profile on Psychology Today 
  • Business Cards
  • Business email address
  • Client Referrals
  • Credit card processing and accounting services for your clients
  • Comfortable and tastefully decorated office space
  • Office supplies needed for completion of paperwork
  • Materials for therapy interventions 
  • Wi-Fi access
  • Coffee/Tea/Water service for clients
  • Supervision and case consultation
  • Competitive compensation

To Apply:

  1. Provide in written format (1) Describe your interest in this position and how your clinical experience would match with the focus of this practice. (2) Specify your availability to see clients.
  1. Send your resume in addition to any previous work/accomplishments pertinent to this position.
  1. Please note the selected candidate will be required to submit proof of degree, license, professional malpractice insurance and will be required to maintain these qualifications.

Email the above to info@hillarycounseling.com.  For more information on our practice, please check out our Website, Facebook and Instagram.

 

How to find the best therapist near you

How To Find The Best Therapist Near Me…

The first time I went to therapy, my parents chose a psychotherapist quickly (an easier decision than which mechanic to use). The way they found this nutter-butter-can-of-cashews: My first pediatrician didn’t know what to do for my all-night, every night nightmares, and so he sent me to a therapist. He thought she was good because of her seemingly impressive pedigree. And let me let them tell you as they told everyone who asked: “She did therapy on the Prime Minister from Israel.” Even at age 10, I found this bit of information troubling and logistically dubious, as we lived in a beachside suburb in Los Angeles and the Prime Minister from Israel lived in Israel.

Here are a few examples of her wacky behavior:

1. She ate cottage cheese with her mouth open during our sessions. I feel sure that her mouth full of curds gave me more nightmares.

2. She read her mail during our sessions. While I get that my 10-year-old chatter was not very stimulating, she was getting paid to listen to me and not to read what the latest edition of Readers Digest said about how to declutter your desk. Good God, do I wish I was making this stuff up.

3. I have since learned that she asked patients for rides to the airport. She never asked me for a ride, but I was only 10 and I didn’t even own a bike.

I thought, as a public service of sorts, and because I am a therapist and I write about being in therapy, it might be a good thing if I shared some thoughts about picking a therapist—should you ever find yourself in need of one—as they can be harder to find than a good mechanic.

1. Ask friends and family

Ask friends who are in therapy if they like their therapist. If they do, find out what it is they like about them and ask your friends to ask their therapists for referral lists.

2. Shop online

Google is very effective these days, in addition to Psychology Today’s Therapy Directory. When therapist shopping I would look for therapists who are not selling themselves but rather those telling you about their work and their philosophy of working with patients.

3. A picture tells a story

Take a look at therapists’ pictures on their website or Psychology Today’s Therapist Directory. Red lights for me: Therapists who use glamour shots or whose portraits seem in any way seductive. I would also steer clear of therapists who use a photo of themselves partaking in a favorite hobby or recreational activity. If you have any doubts about a therapist based on photos, I would listen to your intuition. See if you can find someone who you could easily sit across from. I am not saying your therapist needs to look like a supermodel; you just want to look at the therapist without feeling any concern or apprehension. I would heed any intuition.

4. Gender

When choosing a therapist, almost all people have an instinctive idea on gender they would prefer to work with. I don’t think there is a right or wrong when it comes to choosing which gender you prefer to work with. However, I think it can be clinically valuable to notice which gender you absolutely wouldn’t want to work with. I would make note of that and let my therapist know about my strong feelings of “no way” when considering a certain gender for a therapist.

5. Theoretical orientation

This one is really tricky. There are many theoretical orientations and I certainly cannot explain them all in one single post. Here is what I can say in a huge and gross oversimplification:

-If you believe there is an unconscious motivation for your behavior, you might want to go to a psychodynamic therapist.

-If you want to change your thoughts and you think doing that will change your life, and you don’t believe in an unconscious, then you might want a cognitive therapist.

-If you don’t ever want to talk about mom and dad and you only want the here and now then maybe narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies are something to consider.

-If you want to work on your family and not just on you, then try a family-oriented systems therapist.

-If you still have no idea at all about what orientation you might want, I would then ask the referrals you found and ask about orientation. If the therapist says, “I am an existentialist” and leaves it at that, then have her explain what that means and how you would experience that orientation. Keep asking until you find someone whose style resonates with you.

6. Contact them

When you find a therapist to contact, then reach out to them. It sounds easier than it is; I have had the numbers of therapists in my possession for weeks before I dared to reach out. Email them and ask to schedule a complimentary consultation. When you meet with this therapist, think about asking these questions:

-What is their specialty?

-Have they worked with people with your issues? Share a little about your presenting issue and see how the therapist responds.

-What is their training?

-Are they licensed? Feel free to look up the license and make sure.

-Are they now, or have they ever been, in therapy? This is a big one. Do not, repeat, do not, get into therapy with someone who hasn’t done her own work. Seeing a therapist who doesn’t do her own therapy is like going to a priest who has no relationship with God. This is a big one for me. Unless one has done her own work, she is likely to have issues that create an increased chance of boundary issues, unmanaged counter-transference, and blind spots.

-How much do sessions cost?

7. Notice

Notice how you feel during the consult with the therapist.

On your first appointment, notice how you feel when you are in the room with your new therapist. Do you feel heard when you speak? Notice how you feel in that person’s presence. Notice everything. You might not decide on the first session if the therapist is for you. It may take some time to determine if you have picked the right therapist.

If you’re feeling like the therapist you chose isn’t the best fit, it’s best to tell them what it is you’re looking for and why they aren’t the best fit for you. The therapist might have some ideas for a referral that would work for you. And sometimes that desire to not go back is motivated by some more unconscious anxieties about being in therapy. Best to discuss those, too.

Want more help finding a therapist that’s right for you? Email us at info@hillarycounseling.com to schedule a COMPLIMENTARY 30-minute consultation. Let us help you “Live A Life You Love!”

Article by: Traecy Cleatis of Psychology Today

Woman meditating in nature

Join Our Team…Hillary Counseling is Hiring!

At Hillary Counseling, we believe in a better future for mental health. Delivering an exceptional experience for our clients begins with creating an exceptional experience for our team.

We are deeply passionate about the integrity of our work, providing excellence in delivery of care, and advocating for social change. Through our efforts, the environment here supports wellness; our practice is a rewarding place to work as well as an excellent place to receive care.

Our growing team is comprised of highly skilled and motivated professionals who share a vision, treat clients with respect and compassion, and aspire to serve our community by creating an inclusive environment where clients find fulfillment, improve health and develop greater meaning in their lives.

As professionals, we are committed to collaboration and investing in one another’s clinical, professional, and personal development. Valuing connection and relationships, we offer support, feedback and insight during our monthly consultation meetings and weekly check-ins.

Hillary Counseling is seeking an independently-licensed clinician (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D) who specializes in working with both INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES.

Therapists with niche specialities are encouraged to apply, as well.

Job Details:

Position Title: Part-time Psychotherapist, Independent Contractor

Primary Job Description: To provide counseling to individuals and couples with a broad range of mental health issues, including: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, life transitions, personal growth, identity development and relationship improvement.

**COVID-19 considerations: All therapy is currently virtual through our Telehealth platform, FaceTime or phone.

Starting Date: April/May 2021

Location: Currently remote. Post pandemic this position will be a hybrid of telemedicine and in-person sessions. A 100% remote position (providing tele-therapy sessions from home) is also an option for therapists who are licensed in the state of WI.

Compensation: $80 – $110 per client session, dependent on qualifications and experience. 

Responsibilities:

  • Meeting with clients for initial consultation sessions to formulate a psychosocial assessment and determine eligibility for services.
  • Creating and implementing treatment plans for every client.
  • Submitting progress notes and charting documentation within one business day of sessions.
  • Collaborating with other providers, including previous treatment team, psychiatrists, family, school staff, and community providers to coordinate care and advocate for clients’ needs.
  • Making referrals to agencies and community resources.
  • Attending weekly supervision and monthly case consultation meetings.
  • Assisting with creative and administrative tasks as needed such as social media and marketing.
  • Marketing yourself to grow a referral base and recognition within the community.

Requirements: 

  • MUST BE A LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH CLINICIAN (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D) in the state of Wisconsin.
  • Minimum of 2-3 years clinical experience.
  • Must carry current professional malpractice liability insurance of at least $1,000,000/$3,000,000.
  • Must be accurate and timely in submitting billing at the end of every session.
  • Must be timely in submitting case notes within one business day.
  • Must be able to respond to all client referrals and needs via email and phone within 24 hours.
  • Must have strong organizational and time management skills.

What We Provide:

  • Full integration into www.hillarycounseling.com
  • Profile on Psychology Today 
  • Business Cards
  • Business email address
  • Client Referrals
  • Credit card processing and accounting services for your clients
  • Comfortable and tastefully decorated office space
  • Office supplies needed for completion of paperwork
  • Materials for therapy interventions 
  • Wi-Fi access
  • Coffee/Tea/Water service for clients
  • Supervision and case consultation
  • Competitive compensation

To Apply:

  1. Provide in written format (1) Describe your interest in this position and how your clinical experience would match with the focus of this practice. (2) Specify your availability to see clients.
  1. Send your resume in addition to any previous work/accomplishments pertinent to this position.
  1. Please note the selected candidate will be required to submit proof of degree, license, professional malpractice insurance and will be required to maintain these qualifications.

Email the above to lisa@hillarycounseling.com.  For more information on our practice, please check out our Website, Facebook and Instagram.

 

man in nature

Hillary Counseling is Hiring!

Have you ever dreamed of working independently and having your own private practice? Have you felt overwhelmed thinking about how to accomplish this? At Hillary Counseling we take the guess work out of running your own practice. Our services cover everything from providing a comfortable, therapeutic office space to providing you with client referrals.

Hillary Counseling is a Milwaukee-based private practice that offers psychotherapy to individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, low self-esteem, life transitions, personal growth, and relationship challenges. Our clients are students and young professionals that are high- functioning and motivated to improve their lives.

We are seeking an independently-licensed clinician (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D) who is interested in working 12 to 20+ hours per week, including two evenings and one Saturday.

Psychotherapists with niche specialities are highly desired and encouraged to apply.

Job Details:
Position Title: Part-time Psychotherapist, Independent Contractor

Primary Job Description: To provide counseling to individuals and/or couple’s with a broad range of mental health issues, including: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, life transitions, personal growth, and relationship improvement.

Starting Date: November 2018

Location: Downtown Milwaukee Office

Compensation: $60 – $90 per client session, dependent on qualifications and experience. Higher rate will be paid for couple’s therapy sessions.

Responsibilities:
• Meeting with clients for initial consultation sessions to formulate a psychosocial assessment and determine eligibility for services.
• Creating and implementing treatment plans for every client.
• Submitting progress notes and charting documentation within one business day of sessions.
• Collaborating with other providers, including previous treatment team, psychiatrists, family, school staff, and community providers to coordinate care and advocate for clients’ needs.
• Making referrals to agencies and community resources.
• Attending weekly supervision and monthly case consultation meetings.
• Assisting with creative and administrative tasks such as social media and
marketing.

Requirements:
• MUST BE A LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH CLINICIAN (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, Psy.D., Ph.D) in the state of Wisconsin.
• Minimum of 2-3 years clinical experience.
• Must be available to build up to 20 clients per week and meet with a
minimum of 12 clients per week within set time frames.
• Must carry current professional malpractice liability insurance of at least $1,000,000/$3,000,000.
• Must be accurate and timely in submitting billing at the end of every session.
• Must be timely in submitting case notes within one business day.
• Must be able to respond to all client referrals and needs via email and phone
within 24 hours.
• Must have strong organizational and time management skills.

What We Provide:
• Full integration into www.hillarycounseling.com
• Profile on Psychology Today (plus additional sites)
• Business Cards
• Business email address
• Client Referrals
• Networking opportunities
• Credit card processing and accounting services for your clients
• Comfortable and tastefully decorated office space
• Office supplies needed for completion of paperwork
• Materials for therapy interventions
• Wi-Fi access
• Coffee/Tea/Water service for clients
• Supervision and case consultation
• Competitive compensation

To Apply:
1. Provide in written format (1) Describe your interest in this position and how your clinical experience would match with the focus of this practice. (2) Specify your availability to see clients in the time frames listed in this post.

2. Send your resume in addition to any previous work/ accomplishments pertinent to this position.

3. Please note the selected candidate will be required to submit proof of degree, license, professional malpractice insurance and will be required to maintain these qualifications.

Email the above to lisa@hillarycounseling.com. For more information on our practice, please go to www.hillarycounseling.com.